Appreciation and Thanking - the second story:

When Bollywood helped me make sense of a concept for a corporate audience.

I have always been an ardent movie fan and wanted to be a film maker. I came a little close to that dream when my father bought the forms for the Film and Television Institute of India, Pune when I was in final year of BSc.

Destiny had other plans and I live my dream through the training sessions I design and facilitate.

Here is what happened recently.

In my sessions with managers and senior managers over the last few months, I have had the occasion to touch upon the importance of appreciating and thanking people.

Here is what happened recently.

In the session, one of them said that there is so much of recognition happening in his team that people don’t look forward to the event anymore. They are like, ‘Yeah right, one more coffee session or an Amazon voucher for 5000 Rs. or maybe one more coffee mug.’

I told him that it had lost meaning not because it was happening too frequently. I for one have experienced and therefore believed that no amount of thanking can be overwhelming or enough, if done right. It had lost its meaning not because it was happening frequently, but because it was not being done in a way that would be meaningful for the individual; it had no meaning for the individual.

It has to be individualised, I said.

Another one said that while he was trying to recognise and appreciate people in the presence of the whole team, what did it mean to do it in an individualised manner?

After a couple of attempts in trying to explain it without success, something struck me which changed the experience and meaning for them.

I said that I would like to assume that everyone in the group would have watched the cult classic of a movie Sholay.

Yes, said everyone.

I then further said that in a research I was doing early last year for a session on excellence, I came across a statement from someone that just like we have a national bird, animal, flower and an anthem; this movie should be declared as the national movie of India!

Some of them started giggling in agreement.

I said, nevertheless, if you were Thakur Baldev Singh and you were to appreciate and thank Veeru, Jai and Basanti in Jai’s memorial service, what would you thank each one of them for?

Here is what they said:

They said that we would like to thank Basanti for her courage during the Holi scene by driving her tonga amidst raging bullets to save Jai and Veeru and give them another fighting chance versus Gabbar Singh and his goons.

They said that they would like to thank Jai for making the ultimate sacrifice for his best friend and Basanti by offering to hold off the dacoits even as Veeru helps Basanti escape rather than allowing her to escape on her own which had the risk of her being caught again and being held to ransom by Gabbar.

They thanked Jai for carrying the double headed coin with which he saved his friend’s life even as he was injured but didn’t let Veeru know about it.

They thanked Veeru for his courage and broader vision of staying back to finish the fight with Gabbar and his goons than run away after his friend Jai was killed. According them, this was magnanimous, since doing otherwise would have left the villagers to the mercy of Gabbar who would have become even more merciless.

By then it was clear that they understood the importance of individualization to make it meaningful for the person who was being thanked.

Bringing it to their work context, I requested them to connect their team member’s behaviours with the organisational values besides the impact on team members and clients because of which the managers were recognizing, appreciating and thanking them.

They got it.

Gone are the days of generalization and straight-jacketing everyone with the same way of treating be it on promotions, opportunities or even thanking, rewarding and inspiring. Just as we customize for various categories of customers, so do we for different individuals within our teams.

I brought up the rear end and said that I would have wanted to thank Veeru for also entertaining the villagers with his drunken “soooocide” act atop the water tank.

So long for now.

I will share the first story soon.